He measures seventy-five at the shoulders
But only twenty-two at the hip
He stole my girl from me
At the annual Northeast Tea
And Armwrestling Championship

He's Sven Ivan O'Myron Wisnewski
He's the champ of the Northeast side
Oh, he stood on one leg
And he chugged a whole keg
While drawin' my girl to his side

Now I'm just a guy from Edina
Who was takin' his girl for a ride
Now ain't it a shame
That she was fair game
For this guy from the Northeast side

Now I'll have to arm-wrestle Wisnewski
And I'll give him all that I've got
And I'll pretend that she
Is really cheerin' for me
Here on Mayslack's parking lot

He's Sven Ivan O'Myron Wisnewski
He's the champ of the Northeast side
Oh, he stood on one leg
And he chugged a whole keg
While rippin' my arm from my side

They're coming from Elsie's and Litske's
From both sides of Broadway to see
Sven Ivan get hitched
And the guy who was ditched
Well guess where he's gonna be

I'm playin' the organ next Sunday
When my best girl marries that jerk
I won't play very long
Just one half of my song
'Cause my left hand is all that will work

He's Sven Ivan O'Myron Wisnewski
He's the champ of the Northeast side
Oh, he stood on one leg
And he chugged a whole keg
While takin' my girl for his bride

He's Sven Ivan O'Myron Wisnewski
(Oh, that Tiger, Oh that Tiger)
He's the champ of the Northeast side
(Oh, that Tiger, Oh that Tiger)
Oh, he stood on one leg
(Oh, that Tiger)
And he chugged a whole keg
(Oh, that Tiger)
While takin' my girl for his bride